1. |
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Thizzle Soup (Come Over & Watch Me Do Things)
Howdy ya’ll, come watch me get stupid, I’ll be over here getting stupid like I said I would stupid.
It’s not my job to drop in and check up on your feelings, I’m just kidding, please tell me your feelings?
Do u like soup? You do? Well so do I, myself & me,
but drop some X in it & go run around in circles going yeeeee!
I could piz-unch you, in your fizz-ace u mizz-other Fizz-ucker
but that would be mean but who am I kidding? Fuck you motherfucker.
I’m getting high all the time, it’s how I pass the time
getting high helps to take my mind off wanting to die
At least for a moment until my thoughts gravitate back to suicide and then I’m just wanting to die while high, guy?
Hey speaking of suicide, would you like to come over for my suicide, participate in it or just watch me do my suicide?
We could even do it through zoom and you can watch me commit the suicide
from the comforts of your safe space and watch me go bye bye.
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2. |
Getting Hyphy
01:32
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Getting Hyphy
Getting hyphy, getting hyphy
At the sideshow, the sideshow
Ghost ride the whip, ghost ride the whip.
In a Montessori parking lot.
Pop a thizz thizz. Plop plop fizz fizz.
At your kids school shin dig.
Giggin’ gettin’ stupid, Giggin’ gettin’ stupid.
I’m hyphy and I knew it. I’m hyphy and I knew it.
So clap your hands, clap your hands.
Because I’m getting super hyphy in my kids home room. It could be the MMDA but I’m sensing impending doom.
In Molly’s room on the chalkboard I drew an evil clown holding a red balloon.
I was feeling myself getting hella turnt up, until Molly pulled on my shirt saying, daddy that’s enough!
The clown was holding a gun with the other hand to a babies head with the word blam.
Everybody was looking at the board at lil ole me, I started nodding a lot saying yadadamean!
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3. |
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The Domestic Violence Song (Act 1)
You know he’ll just walk through
right through that restraining order
and nobody will stop him
why should anyone bother.
the cops will file it in a domestic violence sleeve
and friends and family will tell her,
why don’t you just leave?
maybe she’s scared
scared for her kids
she’s been abused for so long
its just what it is
what if he’s provoked, felt antagonized by
oh what has that restraining order done to his fragile pride?
Don’t you worry there’s
plenty of men and women alike,
to make excuses for his behavior.
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4. |
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The Ischemic Small Vessel Disease Blues
I guess you can say that I have emotional problems
and a damaged brain like mine can not solve them
Hey who, who said that? Well some asshole that’s who
and yes sir that asshole is more than likely you
ever have your brain decide to answer the phone
and call you up from the inside of your very own dome
Just so they can ask you the same random question
but only to later make ominous assumptions
The part of my brain who took that call I’d like to thank u
that’s sarcasm u should have screened it I oughta disown u
I kept asking me stuff about the children
why the fuck was i going on and on about children
but then eureka something clicked and I understood
my brain cells must represent myself as me in my childhood
children are brains cells and brain cells are children
maybe its not such a bad idea to go check on them
I unfriended myself on that there facebook
i just walked away without taking a second look
Hey who, who said that? some asshole that’s who
and yes ma’am that asshole is more than likely you
I digress so your still on the phone with yourself
my guess is this could not be good on my mental health
why do i keep asking myself who I am repeatedly
but myself won’t say a word, I just won’t tell me
I often wonder who the fuck do I think I am
guess who’s calling the police, I’d go with I am
I’ll tell on me, just watch me, I’ll tell them all about it all
I’ll even ask myself to have them trace the call
I know what I know so I know that I dread
that the calls coming from inside my very own head
you know that there’s only one way out of the house
and that is to blow my fucking brains right out
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5. |
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Getting High Listening To Fiona Apple
Getting high and listening to Fiona Apple
while muling over some horror movie samples
thinking about different topics for a song
something about a lake with hippies & a bong
I’m sure the posts are being moved on the goal
and if they’re not I’ll sell Jerry Garcia my soul
I’m still high and listening to Fiona Apple
imagining bumping into Donald Trump at a raffle
stabbing him to death outside by the flag pole
muttering cursed words so hell will take his soul
now I’m imagining meeting Fiona Apple
asking her thoughts on a horror sample
Would you like, some unsolicited advice?
never play, hide and seek while high
especially with, a child whose five
it’ll fuck with you, make you question life.
who cares why the chicken crossed the road?
I don’t care why the chicken crossed the road
By getting high, I’d learn I’m hilarious
conspiracy theorists, today are outrageous
the internet, makes assholes famous
always for hire, influencers are dangerous.
watch me run right into the street
and throw myself into the first car I met
You’re on your phone, you’re on a screen
a rendering image, is not the same thing
your face lit up, by the glow of a screen
I have emotional problems, if you know what I mean?
One day I might kill myself
it’s not your fault, I have poor mental health
A two for one, sale on cremations
I keep sadness, in constant rotation
emotion syndicated, like a radio station
depression siphons, unleaded motivation.
Well, here I go, I go again
curious when or if the sadness ever ends
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6. |
Puppy Paw Of Love
03:24
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Puppy Paw Of Love
Dogzilla’s our dog, and she’s fucking awesome.
A chihuahua mutt, don’t start none, won’t be none.
She’s our doggy, and yeah sure you can pet her
you better just, let her smell you first motherfucker.
chorus:
When your doggy reaches out and puts its paw on your arm,
relax and please try to remember to stay calm
You just got the puppy paw of love. Savor the puppies paw of love.
Humans who abuse, dogs and treat them real bad
are terrible people, Dogzilla would be more than glad
to rip out the throats, of any bad girls or boys
using their jugulars, like motherfucking chew toys
chorus:
When your doggy reaches out and puts its paw on your arm,
relax and please try to remember to stay calm
You just got the puppy paw of love. Savor the puppies paw of love.
Doggies are special, I guess you already knew that
it won’t be too long, before the doggies bite back
Barkings for suckers, putting humans on notice
I’m telling you now, so now I know that you know that i know this
chorus:
When your doggy reaches out and puts its paw on your arm,
relax and please try to remember to stay calm
You just got the puppy paw of love. Savor the puppies paw of love.
if you happen to, work at a puppy mill
or are a dog fight, promoter who breeds to kill
at your door, you might hear an unfamiliar scratch
which probably means, they’ve come for your ass
chorus:
When your doggy reaches out and puts its paw on your arm,
relax and please try to remember to stay calm
You just got the puppy paw of love. Savor the puppies paw of love.
if my dog stares at you, you better not stare back
if you were smart, you’d avoid eye contact
she’s daring you, to try something stupid
she’s just waiting for, any reason to lose it
chorus:
When your doggy reaches out and puts its paw on your arm,
relax and please try to remember to stay calm
You just got the puppy paw of love. Savor the puppies paw of love.
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7. |
Was That The Boogie Man?
02:32
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Was That The Boogieman?
Is it hiding in the closet?
Is it underneath your bed?
How sure are you really honey
That it’s not just inside your head?
It waits until it gets dark
because it likes to prowl around
Sneaking from room to room
quietly without making a sound
It watches you from the shadows
with a look of utter disgust
Are u sure that u locked the door
Double check the lock if u must
Do u think that a nite light
will actually stop the boogieman?
As if your fate is a matter of “if”
instead of being a question of when
Do you feel its eyes on you?
Watching u with the patience
of someone with nowhere to go
and has that stalking endurance
of a ghoul who will never give up
or a fiend that has a thirst
that can only be quenched
through horrendously violent outbursts
What’s that sound you might say
as you fumble for the light switch
Overly imaginative minds
often play the cruelest tricks
You are trying hard to convince
yourself that the heavy breathing
Is not coming from behind you
Believing is seeing when your bleeding
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8. |
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The Domestic Violence Song (Act 2)
Annie began to, feel better, and now
she’s been picking up the pieces, and putting them,
together again, it’s a process, some she didn’t recognize, at all, where’d they come from?
She had spent years, simply, withering away
but now its been,12 years, to this day
She’s arranged, to be in, two places at one time
for an alibi, so she could, go back too, the town, she ran from, and hid from, so she could visit his grave.
and just like, the past 12 years, she’ll stand over his grave and cop a squat, just let it go.
After she’s done, pissing, or pooping, Annie will, reminisce, about how great, and freeing, it had felt, to kill, him, in his, sleep.
Annie still couldn’t, believe, how easy it was to make it look like, an accident, an accident, an accident, a tragic accident, that involved middle of the night chainsawing, in pajamas,
pajamas, without socks or shoes on, and right next to the bed……no………less.
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9. |
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Elmo W. Heter: The Great Idaohoan Patron Saint of Beavers
You know, Payette Lake was home first to the beaver
the town of McCall became home to the settler
The human brought hatred & blame along with them
beavers got blamed for stuff like damaged irrigation systems
Idaho was no longer safe but instead filled with beaver hate
that’s why beavers where falling from the sky in 1948
The fish & game department devised a program
to relocate beavers somewhere safe to make their dams
but mountains forested landscape & the lack of roads
made transplantation difficult so horses carried the load
strapped to horses & packed in boxes they would travel
for 2 days but 2 days is all it takes for beavers to unravel
The beaver needs to be constantly cooled & watered
direct heat from the sun gets beavers hot & bothered
the horses would get spooked becoming rather quarrelsome
beavers can be dangerously belligerent & then some
The beavers saving grace came from a guy named Elmo
who’d become the patron saint to the beaver in Idaho
With planes & parachutes surplussed from World War II.
Elmo & his department of fish & game comrades knew what to do.
It was with the help of a brave beaver named Geronimo
that 77 beavers, two per box, were boxed & ready to go
The boxes were heavy enough to make the chute deploy
but light enough so gentle landings for the beaver could be enjoyed
76 beavers landed safely among meadows dotted with streams
if you’re doing the math u know that one died chasing the dream
it wasn’t a faulty chute, the lashings on the box just busted
and this beaver climbed on top the box and seemed to have trusted
his plan to take a short cut to get their first so he jumped down
and that is why this particularly unwise beaver SMASHED INTO THE GROUND!
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10. |
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11. |
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Cats & Dogs (I'm Not Crazy, I'm In Control)
Hey how’s the weather out there
You say it’s raining cats & dogs
I’ll wait here until it stops
you say those poor cats & dogs
you are staring out the window
I’m staring down at my feet
you say I should really see this
but I can’t seem to get up outta my seat
Hey is it still raining out there?
You say cats and fucking dogs
suddenly our power went out
You just kept saying oh my god
I got up and limped to the window
I wanna watch the rain come down
You moved over to give me some room
cats & dogs smashed on the ground
You looked over at me & smiled
I could not believe my eyes
Cats & dogs were actually falling
From somewhere up in the sky
You put a finger to your lips
while nodding towards the street
Me-ow me-ow, ruff ruff was
The sound before they splatted on the concrete
It was raining cats and dogs, listen to them go splat
It was raining kitties and puppies, ssh, can you hear that?
They were mee-ewwing and ruff-ruffing, falling from the sky
They were ruff-ruffing and mee-ewing, right up until they died
Chihuahuas, Tabbies, Himalayan, Pugs, Poodles & Persian
splattered all over the street, I think some might’ve been purring
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12. |
Kids
05:10
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Kids
Kids, they will come in and destroy your fucking life
And kids, they’ll look you right in the eye and tell lies
kids, you better believe are more than capable to commit crime
And kids, when hurt will cry & scream & they’ll whine
And kids, have no character they’ll let you take the fall
kids, are easy to beat because they are so small
Kids, can’t be trusted as far as you can throw them
And kids, if given a chance would kill u & then wear your skin
kids, they’ll point and laugh at you nine times out of ten
And kids, really hate to lose it really bothers them
And kids, will keep your change or at least they will skim
kids, don’t laugh as much when you make fun of them
Kids, will likely turn on you so stay on your toes and beware
And kids, give absolutely no fucks at all they don’t even care
kids, will smile at you while thinking such terrible things
And kids, with their cold blank stares will likely scream and scream
And kids, they walk off bridges all the time officer so please chill-lax
kid, tuck in that shirt and pull up those fucking pants
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13. |
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The Domestic Violence Song (Act 3)
as soon as i walked up, he held up a finger, like hold on, i’m almost done.
he had his back to me with a slight bend at the knees, he moaned, i think i’m gonna cum.
And as he turned upon me, I nearly pissed myself because I was sure I recognized this man
but he wasn’t fully a man, he had a body of a rodent who was missing most of the middle finger on his right hand.
And that’s about the time,
he said, relax man, it’s cool
and i said, like hell it is,
he started singing ship of fools
I couldn’t believe what i was seeing, i had to sit down before i got sick.
It scampered closer to me, sniffing in the air with his hand still wrapped around its dick.
Outside of its face and hands, it had the body of a rodent from what I could tell.
What sort of rodent, i couldn’t be sure but then on que he dropped his pants and i saw the tail.
I said, Jesus Christ, what the fuck
and then I started to hurl
Where the fuck am I?
Why is Jerry Garcias head on the body of a squirrel?
And then it began to twirl and twirl.
While it was twirling it was screaming about how it was going to steal my face.
I got up on my feet and tried to compose myself because i knew had to get out of this place.
It said, where do you plan to go?
anyway but here, fucker
and it started to laugh
and through its laughter it said, welcome to hell brother.
And then I said, what am I dead?
It said, you’re gonna love it here.
I don’t remember dying!
It said, It said I was chainsawed in slumber.
And then it assured me,
that i wasn’t going anywhere
welcome to hell domestic abuser
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14. |
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15. |
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Thizzle Soup (Lynn Shelton)
Lynn Shelton died the other day, one of my favorite directors died the other day.
Humpday, Your Sister’s Sister and Touchy Feely, were all really great movies.
A rare blood disorder what the fuck?, I can’t believe she died this fucking sucks.
Where were you god? Was this your call asshole?, ooh I bet it was, you did didn’t you asshole?
Or did you call upon your son to do it?, Call him up out of the blue with some look I’m a father bullshit.
You probably called at the same time his practice is, hours after hours playing this thizz thizz thizz
Even if god didn’t do it he’s still a bad dad, and Lynn Shelton dying really makes me sad.
She was only nine years older than me, I bet inside me somewhere there’s a disease waiting to kill me.
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16. |
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Melancholia (Dance of Death)
When baths don’t work and your favorite meal tastes like ashes, lucid intervals come in flashes.
Some believed that it would just fly by us, and it would be beautiful when it does.
Justine seemed to understand what once hid behind the sun, would surely destroy everyone
and the earth had to come undone, so the two could become be as one.
Catastrophes for some can turn the pragmatic hysterical, while the mad become clearheaded and sensible.
A seeer who could see what others could not see, knows things like there were 678 beans
in the jar and that when we die we are dead and gone, life is only on earth and it’s not for very long.
We should not grieve for a earth that is evil, we should welcome its upheaval.
Justine saw and understood that the world was a terribly cruel place, and knowing of the end lifted her malaise.
She did not love the world and its things, the perverse chaos in which it brings.
Melancholia was the blue giant gas planet that entered our solar system like a brazen bandit.
What passes by at night was bound to come back around, a dance of death so profound.
When you’re hallucination of the end of the world, is the end of the world.
You may feel relieved and freed, and maybe even a modified version of happy.
You are no longer trudging through gray wooly yarn, clinging to your legs and heavy to drag along
Depression was an allergy to the world all along and soon enough we will all be gone.
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Jesus & The Robot Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
We decided collectively to form a super band and to take over the world by making catchy and undeniably beautiful songs about an assortment of things. We figured that it will only be a matter of time before the our music spreads like a deadly wildfire that wipes out much plantation and housing thus causing much ruin. ... more
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