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Elmo W. Heter: The Great Idaohoan Patron Saint of Beavers

from Thizzle Soup For The Hyphy Soul by Jesus & The Robot

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lyrics

Elmo W. Heter: The Great Idaohoan Patron Saint of Beavers

You know, Payette Lake was home first to the beaver
the town of McCall became home to the settler
The human brought hatred & blame along with them
beavers got blamed for stuff like damaged irrigation systems
Idaho was no longer safe but instead filled with beaver hate
that’s why beavers where falling from the sky in 1948

The fish & game department devised a program
to relocate beavers somewhere safe to make their dams
but mountains forested landscape & the lack of roads
made transplantation difficult so horses carried the load
strapped to horses & packed in boxes they would travel
for 2 days but 2 days is all it takes for beavers to unravel

The beaver needs to be constantly cooled & watered
direct heat from the sun gets beavers hot & bothered
the horses would get spooked becoming rather quarrelsome
beavers can be dangerously belligerent & then some
The beavers saving grace came from a guy named Elmo
who’d become the patron saint to the beaver in Idaho

With planes & parachutes surplussed from World War II.
Elmo & his department of fish & game comrades knew what to do.
It was with the help of a brave beaver named Geronimo
that 77 beavers, two per box, were boxed & ready to go
The boxes were heavy enough to make the chute deploy
but light enough so gentle landings for the beaver could be enjoyed

76 beavers landed safely among meadows dotted with streams
if you’re doing the math u know that one died chasing the dream
it wasn’t a faulty chute, the lashings on the box just busted
and this beaver climbed on top the box and seemed to have trusted
his plan to take a short cut to get their first so he jumped down
and that is why this particularly unwise beaver SMASHED INTO THE GROUND!

credits

from Thizzle Soup For The Hyphy Soul, released June 6, 2020

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Jesus & The Robot Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

We decided collectively to form a super band and to take over the world by making catchy and undeniably beautiful songs about an assortment of things. We figured that it will only be a matter of time before the our music spreads like a deadly wildfire that wipes out much plantation and housing thus causing much ruin. ... more

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