1. |
Hello Spring
01:38
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Hello Spring
Hello spring. Hello flowers in bloom.
Hello to the bumble bees and butterflies too.
Hello to all other pollinators
And a special hello to Mother Nature.
Hello to spring showers and rainbows
Hello to laying in sensible clothes.
(Chorus)
Hello. Hello Hello Hello.
Hello Hello Hello.
Hello Hello Hello.
Hello Hello Hello.
Hello spring.
Hello lilacs. Hello tulips and lilies too.
Hello to green leaves and skies that are blue.
Hello spring equinox. Hello longer days.
And a special hello to sunshine rays.
Hello to spring fever & spring cleaning.
Hello to fireflies in the evening.
(Chorus)
Hello. Hello Hello Hello.
Hello Hello Hello.
Hello Hello Hello.
Hello Hello Hello.
Hello spring.
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2. |
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Side Effects: Heart Failure
Have you seen the backyard?
I’m not going out in that shit
what kind of tools do you even use?
and what about
what about the ticks?
You know that neighborhood cat
went missing sometime last week?
I bet you my very last dollar
it’s back there somewhere
tangled up and lost in the weeds
A lawnmowers not working
on something that overgrown
A weeed whacker couldn’t do it
not on something that out of control
Now if I had a machete
I might go outside
but actually no, fuck that shit
I’m not going back there
to fucking die
Have you seen the front yard?
yeah, it’s all fucked up too
It’s out of control and overgrown
I’m starting to feel trapped
inside my own home.
A lawnmowers not working
on something that overgrown
A weeed whacker couldn’t do it
not on something that out of control
Now if I had a machete
I might go outside
but actually no, fuck that shit
I’m not going out there
to fucking die.
YARDWORK.
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3. |
Daddy Issues
02:24
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Daddy Issues
Jesus! Jesus!
You better put down that fucking chair
the bartender screamed while Robot stared
fuck yourself is what Jesus said
as he flung the chair at the barkeeps head.
Sorry! Sorry!
Robot said don’t worry about a thing.
Jesus does this very same thing every spring.
Get the fuck out the bartender yelled
Jesus then promised to have him sent to hell.
The patrons were cowering, they were hiding behind tables
Jesus was manically laughing pulling on the jukebox cables.
The barkeep had called the cops. Robot begged Jesus to stop.
Robot managed to get Jesus to leave and to the parking lot.
Where Robot screamed get in we have to get out of here.
In the distance you could hear sirens coming in more clear.
Laughing! Laughing!
Jesus was laughing as the cops passed
as the red and blue lights flashed off his ass
which he had hanging out the window
in case you didn’t know.
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4. |
Killing Jesus Christ
02:45
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Killing Jesus Christ
Jesus was hanging with his friends
breaking bread sharing suspicions
one of you will soon betray me.
It wouldn’t take long to figure out
what Jesus was going on about
at the garden of Gethseane
Heading straight for Jesus, Judas cut through the crowd
like, what’s up messiah, talking really loud
and thats how he earned all that silver
with a kiss he would deliver
Jesus to the Romans for heresy.
Killing Jesus Christ
Killing Jesus Christ
Killing Jesus Christ
Pilate and Caiaphas finally got their guy
when in Rome sorcery doesn’t fly
sentenced him to be crucified.
Jesus had run out of luck
prayers and good vibes won’t be enough.
Jesus of Nazareth was going to die.
Hanging while nailed up on a cross
Jesus knew that it was Judas who tipped them off
cursing and muttering under his breath
a crown of thorns on his head
Jesus knew he was good as dead.
Killing Jesus Christ
Killing Jesus Christ
Killing Jesus Christ
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5. |
The Easter Bunny Song
01:23
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The Easter Bunny Song
The bringer of spring, the bringer of death
hopping to your house, all hopped up on meth
it bares no baskets full of chocolate and candy
no dyed eggs just a fifth of brandy
busted the door down, left the house in shambles
muddy bunny prints led their path to the brambles
not only was your house trashed, the fucker wrote on your walls with shit and blood die! die! fuck you all!
The children are screaming and father is puking
right onto his own shirt, what the fuck are you doing?
mother just shouted then mother screamed oh god
the children followed her eyes to the dog
when easter comes
update security systems
keep on you a loaded gun
because you might have to shoot a hole
through that little easter bun bun
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6. |
Happy Mother's Day
03:57
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Happy Mother’s Day
She carried you inside of her
for somewhere around nine months
she grew & grew nauesous with cravings
from the inside you kicked and punched.
She labored endlessly
with a pain of such intensisity
Do something nice. Make a card.
Afterall, it’s Mother’s Day.
Be thoughtful, kind and courtese.
Even if only for the day.
Whether born at home or some hospital setting
your mother took care of you
She watched over you, kept you safe and alive
who knows what dangerous shit you would get into
Some moms for what it’s worth
adopt because they’re unable to give birth
Does this make them anyless of a mother?
Of course it doesn’t, you dumb motherfucker
Don’t be an ass and pick fights
Remember it’s Mother’s Day
Make a truces with your siblings
if only for a day.
And if dads still around, in the picture
be present, it’s Mother’s Day
Don’t be absent and unhelpful
pull it together at least for today
So don’t make things harder
especially on Mother’s Day
Don’t fuck things up and make a mess
not today
Happy Mother’s Day
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7. |
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Summer Is a Bummer (Fuck Summer)
Little kids with ice cream cones
staring blankly at their Iphones
playing some stupid game.
Look up from your screen
here comes an aimless teen
and they want to know your name.
Before you can answer
the teen calls you a bastard
and stabs you in the face.
fucked around and found out
the others kids began to scream and shout
let’s get the fuck outta this place.
The kids ran for home and left their friend to bleed to death.
The teen ran back to the park to collect their five dollar bet.
Summer sucks.
Summer sucks.
Summer sucks.
Fuck summer.
With your Iphone still in hand
you post a selfie on instagram
with the hashtag haters gonna hate
then you notice at your feet
splattered ice cream all over the street.
Summer Is a Bummer.
Summer Is a Bummer.
Summer Is a Bummer.
(Fuck Summer)
Summer sucks.
Summer sucks.
Summer sucks.
Fuck Summer.
It’s too hot.
It’s too hot.
It’s too hot.
Summer is a bummer.
[weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee]
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8. |
The Global Warming Song
02:31
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The Global Warming Song
There’s maggots in the trashcan
I hate fucking flies.
They’re grosse and annoying.
Ruining peoples lives.
I’ve got no love for flies at all.
I hate misquitoes as well.
For all I care, they can buzz straight into hell.
The kids are all home now
it’s summer break
they’ll be fighting and screaming
I’m pumped. I can hardly wait.
And that was sarcasm
incase you didn’t understand
I more or less will be drowning looking for dry land.
The yard won’t cut itself
and the sun wants me dead.
I’m done getting sunburned
and can you believe they said
that global warming isn’t real
and that it’s just a hoax?
Climate change deniers are a fucking joke.
A joke that we’ll no less surly be the butt of
When it comes to money these politicians can’t get enough.
The problems they’ve created, will be inharited.
long after their dead by our fucking kids.
Oh boy. Summer’s arrived.
Oh joy. It’s hot as fuck.
Humidity or heat that’s dry.
Fuck this i’m burning up.
And I’m not the only one….
The world is burning up
and they don’t give a fuck.
Ice caps melt and the sea level rises
and people will die.
Displacement and extinction
is what we’ll be getting.
I’m hoping for what it’s worth
a comet smashes earth.
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9. |
Summer Camp
02:28
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Summer Camp
If you’ve got camp this summer
you might want to check the date.
It would be an absolute bummer
to have a scheduling error seal your fate.
If your summer camp lands on a Friday
make sure it’s not the 13th on that day.
What do you think the odds would have to be
for summer camp to land on that day?
Would you still go because you don’t believe
and you find the whole thing to be cliche?
You say that stuff is based on superstition.
It’s just a tactic used to condition
people to be scared.
You don’t seem to care if it’s considered bad voodoo
and it appears
that all that bad luck mojo stuff doesn’t bother you.
but it will, oh yes it will
you don’t know it yet but it will
when all your friends get killed.
Now that shit has gotten real
and you’ve just seen you’re bunkmate get killed
violently with a drill.
You want to go home.
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10. |
Happy Father's Day
03:38
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Happy Father’s Day
Dads can change dirty diapers
Dad can be a skilled butt wiper
Dad can get up when the baby cries
Dad shouldn’t expect a fucking prize
Dad can put the baby back down to sleep
Dad can wear baby out on the street
When you see a dad out in the wild
all by himself not counting the child
Dads not babysitting, he’s parenting his child
doing the things his dad never did.
Being present, affectinate & sharing feelings
dads can also be good with kids
And not just the fun one who undermines
everything mom says each and every time.
Hooofuckingray It’s Father’s Day
Wooofuckingwho It’s Father’s Day
If you see a dad alone out in the wild
don’t praise him for being there
Doing the same thing that mom has been doing
everyday, year after year after year.
Expectations are high but only for mother
dad shows up it’s parade time motherfucker
Hooofuckingray It’s Father’s Day
Wooofuckingwho It’s Father’s Day
Hooofuckingray It’s Father’s Day
Wooofuckingwho It’s Father’s Day
Hooofuckingray It’s Father’s Day
Wooofuckingwho It’s Father’s Day
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11. |
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Another Anti-Independence Day Song
Another backyard firework show got out of hand
tipsy parental units had not planned for Mary Beth to lose a hand.
Doggies scamper, veterans take cover and hit the deck
Just another Independepence Day wreck.
Be sure to refill your super big gulp up
before shooting bottle rockets off dumbfuck at the seven eleven.
You’ll find dogs and combat vets under tables curled up
but it’s the 4th of July and nobody gives a fuck.
Perma-dry drought championed states are wildfire kindle
if you listen close you can hear children giggle.
Soon fires will be blazing
burning cities to the ground
Indepedence Day children
keep the infirmaries filled up
while seven eleven employees
pick up empty big gulp cups.
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12. |
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Jesus & The Robot Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
We decided collectively to form a super band and to take over the world by making catchy and undeniably beautiful songs about an assortment of things. We figured that it will only be a matter of time before the our music spreads like a deadly wildfire that wipes out much plantation and housing thus causing much ruin. ... more
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