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Vernon The Mentally Ill Squirrel

from The Squatters of Bedlam: Songs of Absurdism by Jesus & The Robot

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lyrics

Vernon The Mentally Ill Squirrel

Vernon the squirrel was quite the loner, no friends or family, alone in the pines. Except of course, a treasured Katie Holmes button that he kept with him all of the time.

Conversations with katie, helped keep vernon sane while harvesting nuts for the winter. Unnoticed went the girl with a rudger number one Vermonter.

Vernon leapt to a branch safely, the bullet whizzed by, missing him barely, during the chaos he dropped miss katie.

The winter was brutal as was verns depression, isolated himself, never leaving his nook. Cabin fever had set in, vernon was so lonely, plus hunger put in her hooks.

Maniacally writing obscenities on the walls with his own feces. Ripping out patches of fur helped put his mind at ease.

The time had come to leave the hole, jumping like a lunatic through the snow. Happened upon a fox after a mile or so.

Are you looking for nuts? The fox said to vernon which made the squirrel smile, so full of hope. Nuts? Replied vernon, I am nuts he stated, right before he went for the foxes throat.

Vern began to drag that fox back home. He got a funny feeling he wasn’t alone. A hunter followed the blood trail in the snow.

Vernon turned around and began to choke, he noticed more than a barrel and the scope. The girl wore a katie holmes button on her coat.

credits

from The Squatters of Bedlam: Songs of Absurdism, released November 11, 2013

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Jesus & The Robot Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

We decided collectively to form a super band and to take over the world by making catchy and undeniably beautiful songs about an assortment of things. We figured that it will only be a matter of time before the our music spreads like a deadly wildfire that wipes out much plantation and housing thus causing much ruin. ... more

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