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Uncle Sam Writes Santa A Thank You Card For The Isis Gift This Christmas
the war is far from over, it’s just not as visible. sure, you pulled out loads of troops but many are still there.
them isis boys are running wild, gosh isn’t that convenient? uncle sam’s happy as a pig in shit, what a christmas present.
code red, the terror alert, wave bye-bye to your rights and those investments abroad, he has a reason to flex his might.
oh, look at that civil unrest, they can’t govern themselves, looks like you need some american world policing help.
uncle sam had wrote a thank you card and mailed it to the north pole. he, wanted to thank santa clause for the thoughtful gift this year.
and as sammy wrote that card, he was watching isis videos, stroking his dick, watching beheadings, about to blow his load.
so vote, it’s election time, against your best interest, put a maniac in office, fuck it, who gives a shit?
it’s an awesome kind of christmas, islamophobes are everywhere, burning mosques, ignorant fucks, spreading christmas cheer.
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Running Cars Off The Road, It's Christmas
running cars off the road, it’s christmas, on misson to falcon. in the middle of the road we go, Iraqis just seem to know, if they don’t pull off, what will happen.
coming up on a truck, it’s christmas, honking frantically, the gunners shouting from the turret, motioning fuckin’ move it, busting a warning shot so casually.
a bumper to bumper tap, you give them from the back, watch them bounce like a pin ball. you’re considered polite when running off to the right, you could’ve killed them all. good job, you only totaled their car.
smashing every non-military vehicle outta the way, it’s christmas, show them whose boss. you could be out running errands and learn a valuable lesson, that uncle sam is now in charge.
bashing cars off the road, on christmas, just ordinary folk, not insurgents or terrorists, nobody whose a risk but still they get rinsed like soap.
a maniac behind the wheel, looking for a thrill, counting the cars he hits. a lunatic on the gun, looking for some fun, so eager to let them rip. the XO can’t recite the ROE without having a laughing fit.
running Iraqis off the road, it’s christmas, everywhere you go. Once you pull up next to that van, you can show them whose the man and side swipe that family off the road.
Bopping cars off the road, it’s christmas, look at his face, he may of shit his pants, we could give him a chance, fuck no, blast him off into space.
Coming up fast on that car, it’s christmas, better fucking move, you could be taking the kids to school, even using the car pool, american convoys will seal your doom.
Ruining Iraqis lives, it’s christmas, destroying their cars, look both ways crossing the street or get lifted off your feet, the last thing you’ll see are stripes and stars.
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A Ma-Duece Christmas (Shooting Down Santa's Sleigh)
Oh, I was sitting on the howitzer, just manning the fifty caliber, I heard the news on the radio, lock and load, lock and load, lock and load.
Oh, the commander gave the order, that we must protect the border, so with my anti-aircraft machine gun, let’s have fun, let’s have fun, let’s have fun.
There’s something flying my way, in a no fly zone coming near, reports say could be a sleigh, led by a dozen or so reindeer.
Well, I got the ma-deuce ready, whatever it is, I’ll turn to confetti, if it comes flying overhead, shoot em dead, shoot em dead, shoot em dead.
Oh, I could hear some bells ringing, what the fucks this guy thinking? Might as well announce, here I am, good god damn, good god damn, good god damn.
So I aimed the m2 at them, let loose 300 or so rounds at him, sent them to the ground, sleigh down, sleigh down, sleigh down.
Something just didn’t seem right about gunning down that sleigh, maybe because it’s the night before christmas day.
So, before the brownings barrel cooled down, I heard about what they found. The guy was on a watch list, a terrorist, a terrorist, a terrorist.
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The Christmas Mortar
02:52
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The Christmas Mortar
Sssssssh, alex said to mallory, do you hear what I hear? do you hear what I hear?
Sounds like a whistle said mallory. Do you feel what I feel? Do you feel what I feel?
A mortar, a mortar, falling from the sky. Where they land, people will die. When they land, people will die.
Hey, what’s that? Winnie asked kevin. Do you see what I see? Do you see what I see?
Looks like a bucket replied kevin. Do you think what I think? Do you think what I think?
A bomb, a bomb, on the side of the road, waiting for a time to explode, people will die when it explodes.
Take cover, willis told Arnold. Do you hear what I hear? Do you hear what I hear?
Ak’s and RPG’s said Arnold. Do you know what I think? Do you know what I think?
Ambush, ambush, coming from all sides, in the thick of a fire fight, people will die in a fire fight.
Whoa, Joey said to Blossom. Do you see what I see? Do you see what I see?
An abandoned car replied Blossom. Do you feel what I feel? Do you feel what I feel?
Car bomb, car bomb, a VBIED at the gate and soon you will meet your fate, soon you will meet your fate.
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Combat Christmas (Happy Days)
All Chaci wants for christmas is his left arm back, his left arm back that he lost in Iraq. All Chaci wants is his left arm back that he’d lost in combat.
Chaci was on convoy to Anaconda in a lightly armored humvee, lucky an arm is all he lost when he met that IED.
All you want for christmas is to come back home, to come back home, to come back home. All you wanna do is make it back home and not die all alone in combat.
All Joni wants for christmas is her right leg back, her right leg back, the one she lost in Iraq. All Joni wants is her right leg back, that she had lost in combat.
Joni was returning fire, hunkered down, giving orders. What was at the end of that whistle? That’s right, a mortar.
So many troops are losing their limbs, maybe it’s an arm, perhaps it’s a leg. Most are coming back with that post traumatic stress. For all this you can thank combat.
All the Fonz wants for christmas is his mental health back, his mental health back, that he lost in Iraq. Only if Fonzie missed that ambush attack, he may of not lost it in combat.
Just another patrol in Sadr is where you’d find Fonzie. His team was found by small arms fire and RPG’s.
All the gang wants for christmas are happy days, the good old days, those glory days. Remember when we’d hang at Al’s back in the day? Before getting fucked up in combat.
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A Christmas Song For Veterans
Norm ETS’d and came back home, he’ll serve his country no more. He served in Iraq and Afghanistan, in total completed three tours.
Uncle sam washed his hands clean of him once he got that DD-214. While active, treatment was discouraged and came home with PTSD.
Unable to find work or let alone function, veteran norm has nowhere to stay. At night he sleeps in the park and holds a cardboard sign by day.
So when you’re leaving trader joe’s and see norm looking crummy, instead of avoiding eye contact, tell him, merry christmas buddy.
Diane felt that she could’t get help, mental illness has been stigmatized. Her chain of command has led her to believe. She feared being marginalized.
If you go to sick call, you are a shit bag, a broke dick ready for CQ. So afraid of consequences, diane just suffered through.
Diane could’t take it no more, the stress had got the upper hand and she had nowhere to go, her battles wouldn’t understand so she took it upon herself, found a solution that could’t miss, she put the barrel under chin, merry christmas.
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The Gift That Keeps Giving (PTSD)
In a psychotic rage, she tore down all the lights then put a fist through the wall with all of her might. It’s Tootie’s first christmas back here in the states. She’ll spend christmas with the demons she hates.
Post traumatically stressed boys and girls come home. Their body is with family but minds in a war zone. All the yuletide cheer won’t put those nerves on ease. PTSD is the gift you brought back from overseas.
In a lunatic fit, she heaved a Rudolph figurine against the wall while crying, fuck be all you can be. Its Blair’s first christmas back home in san francisco. She’ll spend christmas all alone drinking cisco.
Post traumatically stressed girls and boys are back. Surviving tours whether be Afghanistan of Iraq. All the feel good festiveness won’t give you warm fuzzies, PTSD has become your new battle buddy.
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In this skit, Jesus and his BFF Robot are spending the holidays binge watching The Walking Dead but when carolers show up during the program, things get a little heated.
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A Pre-Existing Condition Kind Of Christmas
Oh, if you wanna come back home, this form you have to sign. It wants to find out your mental health, to come back with us, you must be fine. If you check anything, here you will have to stay. Until you get proper treatment, you can’t get on that plane.
The military and the VA will do everything they can to avoid any accountability, it’s easier on the wallet for sam. If you were exposed to explosions but played pee-wee football they’ll say that brain injury of yours is a pre existing condition from football.
As with TBI the same goes for PTSD, if you had any trouble at home, your troubles are pre existing. So you can fuck off and forget about getting service connected. You could be like missing an arm and the VA will be like, ok twenty percent rating.
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10. |
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My Recruiter Says, I'll Be Home By Christmas
Sign right here on this here dotted line, here you can use my pen. Thanks for enlisting, if you wanna earn a bonus then bring us a friend.
You’ll be home for christmas, home before you know it, travel exotic places, have you ever been to Tibet?
Yes, you’ll get loads of college money, you choose how to spend it, of course you won’t deploy, well maybe to Hawaii, you silly boy.
You can have a great job, something you can use for when you come back home. How about eleven bravo? If you’re a man who likes adventure then that’s the way to go.
You work Monday to Friday, a nine to five workday with loads of time for play, plus you get decent pay and think of all those paid holidays. All you have to do is sign right here, now.
Do we have quotas? Of course we don’t, who told you that? You have a criminal record? Don’t worry dude, we have a waiver for that.
Yes, you’ll be home by christmas, even quit when you want to. Drill sergeant can’t yell at you, it’s more like a party dude with brothers like a fraternity, sort of like a university, all you have to do is sign here now.
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11. |
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I'm Coming Home For Christmas (Sure, You Are Pal)
I’ll be home for christmas or so Lenny thought but he found himself stop lossed, refund those tickets you bought.
Whose coming home for christmas? Shirley said so confident but she got redeployed because your ETS date don’t mean shit.
I’m coming home by christmas, that’s what Lavern said but her tour got extended and instead came home dead.
Squiggy came home for christmas in a body bag. Got a parade chalked full of sad faces and a coffin warped in a flag.
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Jesus & The Robot Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
We decided collectively to form a super band and to take over the world by making catchy and undeniably beautiful songs about an assortment of things. We figured that it will only be a matter of time before the our music spreads like a deadly wildfire that wipes out much plantation and housing thus causing much ruin. ... more
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