What kind of asshole doesn’t understand
that no means fucking no
not fucking maybe or I’m not sure
and definitely isn’t a green light for go.

Why is it so hard to believe
that nobody wants your green eggs and ham
That poor guy turned them down over and over
what the fuck is your problem Sam?

He doesn’t want to eat them, he made that clear
none of your what about nows fucking matter
he doesn’t want them here, there or anywhere
but Sam couldn’t take no for an answer

What about that dog in go dog go
the pompous asshole who was a brat
to that lady dog who always asked him
whether or not he liked her hat.

He would always snub her and say no
but she kept trying again and again
until he finally approved her hat choice
and they drove off together as friends.

I like to think they drove somewhere quiet
and that’s where she took a tire iron to his head
and then put him in the trunk
to push it into the lake, leaving him dead.

And what about Gus, Gus the firefly
who thought it was hella funny to fuck with lives
not giving a shit if his word tricks were dangerous
and that people could actually die.

Sam the owl tried to tell him
but Gus was a stubborn snot who wouldn’t quit
and his luck ran out when the hot dog man caught him
and even though Gus talked hella shit

Sam was a pretty forgiving owl
Gus misspelling directions in the sky
was fucked up & they’re lucky no one got hurt
but Sam wouldn’t let Gus the firefly die.

What about that Bartholomew Cubbins dude
who got busted by that King Darwin dick
because every hat he removed, another appeared
and like a prick he took it as disrespect.

King assholes are used to having their way
no matter how unreasonably unfair it may be
he even tried to have Bart beheaded
but then the hats got more fancy.

Now the King saw something in it for him
he exploited and bought out that Bart boy
He forgot all about wanting to kill him
because fancy hats brought the king joy.

I fucking hate stories of nobility
princesses, princes, queens and kings
learned propaganda and class assimilation
is really, a real thing.

Look no further than children tales of old
to see how our society values women
and it’s not very well, actually it’s pretty terrible.
Look at Hansel and Gretel to see what I mean.

Spineless bastard daddy just as guilty
as that stepmother if you ask me
Hansel & Gretel should’ve taken a shovel
to the back of the head of their daddy

and with that same shovel, they could’ve buried him
and built an outhouse on his grave with all those gems