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If It Weren​’​t For Those Damn Chads…

from Go Be Happy Somewhere Else: Songs To Ruin Your Day by Jesus & The Robot

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lyrics

I am Cletus and you are so pretty
would you like to chat with, with me?
on twitter I follow you
but you don’t follow me back (that’s okay)
I live where you live, I know where you work and stay
I even know your favorite place to go for a run
Your social media shows me what you do for fun
I heard you like The Office from a kid I know
I’m more into One Piece but I know the show
I studied it for weeks and waited for you to jog by
I gave you my best Michael Gary Scott, you didn’t even say hi
You just looked at me annoyed and ran faster away
Wasted a week on that whore, she never came back that way

My name, is Jeb, I am, an incel
beta males, like me, live in, sexless hell
All the nice guys, all us good guys, finish last
All the nice girls, all the good girls, want a Chad
I hate women but I want one to fuck
To cook me dinner and to keep stuff cleaned up
To look purty when we go out and not talk too much
I’m a really great guy whose just unlucky with love

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Jesus & The Robot Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

We decided collectively to form a super band and to take over the world by making catchy and undeniably beautiful songs about an assortment of things. We figured that it will only be a matter of time before the our music spreads like a deadly wildfire that wipes out much plantation and housing thus causing much ruin. ... more

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