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lyrics

That’s not a feeling, it’s a judgement, actually it’s just an opinion
Could you give us an I statement? Or try to name the feeling?
But you couldn’t fucking do it, you wouldn’t know where to begin
feelings scare the shit out of you, it’s a part of being masculine.

Remember that pit bull your family took in? I think his name was Marley?
You were high & on all fours you got in his face snarling.
You were laughing at first but then Marley mauled you pretty bad
It was sort of weird that you didn’t understand why he got mad.

Who are you to tell me that I should learn to like myself?
said the cheeky lady with the chart in charge of your mental health
At your brand new psychiatric unit, there’s a nurse and she has a gift
At your tarot card reading, she gave you less than a week to live.

You decide that before you die, you want a brand new doggie
so you checked out and brought home a Chihuahua named her lieutenant Dodgey.
Little Dodgey you nicknamed her, mauled you while you slept,
found a week later by a neighbor there wasn’t much of you left.

Who knew that a chihuahua could inflict so much mayhem
it would take one barbaric chihuahua to do what it did to that man
That man wasn’t just a man, that man was my sponsor
so I stand at his grave pouring out some of my forty in his honor

I am having big feelings and I don’t know what to do with them
I keep making I statements but then I forget them and have to start all over again.
Now I am living on my own with my dog named Betsy
I keep a loaded pistol under the chair cushion in case she wants to test me.

credits

from Go Be Happy Somewhere Else: Songs To Ruin Your Day, released July 2, 2022

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Jesus & The Robot Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

We decided collectively to form a super band and to take over the world by making catchy and undeniably beautiful songs about an assortment of things. We figured that it will only be a matter of time before the our music spreads like a deadly wildfire that wipes out much plantation and housing thus causing much ruin. ... more

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